Harsha: Pranam Swamiji, I have question with respect to duties of Son, and Son-in Law. The reason I am asking this question is, I will be marrying in few months, and due to grace of Acharya’s and Guru’s like you I wanted to know, what all duties Vedas or Smritis prescribe if Son-in-law to be done for his in-law. And who should be prioritized, his own parents or in-laws. If you can please list the reference from Veda’s and Smritis I would be thankful. Sadar Pranama, Harsha
Swami Ram Swarup: My blessings to you.
Duties of husband enshrined in Vedas are as follows-
DUTIES OF HUSBAND
1. RIGVEDA MANTRA 4/16/10:-
Learned wife should contain the quality to destroy the cruel nature, must be beautiful not only physically but her inner beauty must be based on divine qualities attained by doing Tapasya, she should try to gain true knowledge only. That is why, the mantra states that if learned husband does not have the wife containing the said qualities then the learned husband should divorce a bad/contemptible wife and marry another woman who possesses same qualities as his own and does not have flaws or vices.
2. Rigveda mantra 10/85/17 –
It is the duty of the husband to provide for food and other necessities of his wife, learned acharya of Vedas and children. These necessities like food etc., are required to attain Vedic knowledge. So earning is not meant only to satisfy hunger or enjoy sleep and materialistic articles of the world.
3. Atharvaveda mantra 1/34/5 – the sweet and loving behaviour of husband should enable the wife to inculcate love and affection towards him.
4. Atharvaveda mantra 2/30/4 – husband should not hide anything from the wife. In this way he shall win over her heart.
5. Atharvaveda mantra 5/25/6- he should lead a disciplined, pious life.
6. Atharvaveda mantra 6/9/2 – husband should try to win over his wife with his love.
7. Atharvaveda mantra 6/81/1 – husband should lead a disciplined life and should be capable of earning enough money to sustain his family.
8. Atharvaveda mantra 6/89/1 – husband should respect his wife and consider his duty to protect the honour of his wife.
1. Atharvaveda mantra 2/36/1- Husband should talk sweetly, be soft spoken, financially independent and should share his wife’s responsibilities equally.
2. Atharvaveda mantra 14/1/41- Learned husband should try that his wife also possesses Vedas’ knowledge and strive to concentrate in worship of God to attain glory and fame in the world.
3. Atharvaveda mantra 14/1/49- Both husband and wife should indulge in worship of God and simultaneously make their children well-educated and brave. The couple should generate enough financial assets to attain glory in the world.
4. Atharvaveda mantra 14/1/50- Both husband and wife should commit themselves to help each other sincerely (without any cheating etc.) and successfully discharge their marital duties together.
5. Atharvaveda mantra 14/1/52- Husband is responsible to honour his wife with clothes, jewellery etc., so that the couple leads a happy marital life while upbringing their children with care.
For more information, you are advised to read my book named “Vedas- A Divine Light Part-III (in English) worth Rs.100/-, excluding postal charges. It can be sent on receipt of your postal address, if you desire.
Narayanan: Is re-marrying widows permitted as per sastras? Can a married man become sanyasi (after completing all family responsibilities) against the wishes of family members?
Swami Ram Swarup: If a widow desires to marry, then she can marry. Married man can
only become a sanyasi if he has been following Vedic path and thus has been doing daily Yajyen, Vedic study, name jaap of God and practice of Ashtang yog by virtue of which he has become ascetic.
Krishan: Swami ji Parnam main janana chahata huin ki.ek aadmi ki jindgi main. Gems, Numerology, Vastu, aur Rashi ka kya mahatav hai.en chijo se main kafi confuse huin karipya advice de.kya ense mera business growth kar sakta hai.
Swami Ram Swarup: My blessings to you. Gems, numerology, rashi, mangalik, present astrology, kaal sarp dosh, vaastu kala, tantrikism, ghost pooja etc., are not mentioned in Vedas.
So, learned never accept the same being unauthentic. The said matters are man-made, not God-made. So, I would advise you not to worry about it. Fundamental law, as is also stated in Rigveda mantra 10/135/1,2 and Yajurveda mantra 7/48 is this that this human body has been blessed by God to face the good and bad deeds of the previous lives in the shape of happiness and sorrows respectively. Secondly, we are free to do pious deeds or sins but result is awarded by Almighty God in the shape of happiness and sorrows respectively. However, to destroy the bad effects of deeds and to earn money and make future bright, Vedas tell to do daily hawan, Yajyen, name jaap of God and practice of Ashtang Yoga under the guidance of learned acharya. You may seek acharya locally, carefully i.e., beware of false prophets. Meanwhile, I would advise you to do the followings:-
Hard working, devotion, dedication, honesty, services to the parents and elders to follow eternal religion mentioned in Vedas, practice of Ashtang Yoga, discharging moral duties to get progress in education, science simultaneously with spiritualism like, daily havan, to be in contact with the learned Acharya, to get his advice, are some of the pious deeds which make the future bright and obliterate the sorrows, problems, diseases, etc.
One must wake up early in the morning for early morning walk and exercises, must sit on meditation and chant holy name of God, must be away from any addiction and non-vegetarian. Such pious actions lead to long, happy life and bright future.
The Gayatri mantra is as follows —
OM BHURBHUVAHA SWAHA TATA SAVITUR VARENYAM BHARGODEVASYA
DHIMAHI DHIYO YO NAHA PRACHODYAT
Meaning of Gayatri mantra stating each word is as follows. Its meaning is based on
Vedas and Sanskrit grammar. Grammatical hints are in short please.
Om has three Hindi words. Aa, Uu AND Ma. Aa is meant for Aakaar from which three
names of God are built, Viraat, Agni, and Vishwadi. From Uu = uukar from which
Hirannyagarbha, Vayu and Tejas names occur and Ma = makaar from which Ishwar,
Aditya and Praajyan aadi, holy names of God occur. Rigveda mantra 1/164/46 says
God is one but His names are several. But here OM the holy name of God is only
VIRAAT = Viraat word is made from dhatu ‘Rajrideeptau’ i.e., manifest. Therefore
Viraat means He who manifests the universe. As God manifests the universe, thus
Viraat is the name of God. Rigveda mandal 10, sukta 129 states that like potter
makes pot from clay, similarly God creates universe from non-alive matter prakriti.
Prakriti is unseen matter. From unseen matter, the whole universe is created in the
visible form. Science also says that matter is never destroyed but changes its form.
Suppose a paper is burnt, paper changes its form into ashes. Then ashes are crushed
and thrown in air. At this moment, the paper changed into ashes becomes invisible
but was never destroyed. Similarly the whole universe at the time of final destruction
is turned into prakriti i.e., into unseen form.
AGNI = From dhatu, “ANCHU GATI POOJANAYOHO” the word “AGNI is made. Its
meaning is: He who is a form of wisdom. “SARVAJAYEN” i.e., Omniscient. That is,
knows each and every atom of universe and even beyond universe. He who is to be
known, to be gained and is worshipful. So Agni is the name of God.
VISHWA = Vishwa word is made from dhatu, “VISHPRAVESHANE”. Its meaning is He
in whom the universe is entering or He who is entering the universe. So being
omnipresent, Vishwa is the name of God.
HIRANNYAGARBHA = i.e., ” JYOTIRVAYIHIRANYAM”. Its meaning is, who is the base
of all sun, etc., luminous lokas or He who is the living place of all luminous lokas.
VAYU = from dhatu, “VA GATIGANDHANYOHO”, vayu word is made. Its meaning is
He who holds, gives life and destroys and is the mightiest amongst all. So the name
of God is Vayu.
TEJ = from dhatu, “TIJA NISHANE”, the word Tej is made meaning He who is self
made and self-enlightened and gives light to sun, moon, stars etc. God does not take
light from anywhere but gives light to sun, moon, stars, etc. so the unbroken,
unobstructed/unproduced and eternal form of light is Almighty God and not sun,
moon etc. So the name of God is Tej.
ISHWAR = from dhatu, “ISH ASHWERIYE”, the word Ishwar is made. Its meaning is
whose knowledge is thoughtful and true and He who has unlimited wealth, fortune
and glory etc. Therefore the name of God is Ishwar. Here it is not out of place to
mention that soul (man/woman) has limited qualities and are dependent whereas
God is independent and has unlimited qualities that is why He is God.
ADITYA = from dhatu, “DO AVAKHANDANE”, Aditya word is made. Its meaning is the
one who cannot be broken into pieces and thus cannot be destroyed. So God’s name
PRAJAYEN (PRAGYA) = from dhatu, “JYEN AVABODHANE”, Prajayen word is made
meaning whose wisdom is totally without any misunderstanding and thus he who
knows every matter and behavior of whole universe without misunderstanding. So
God’s name is Prajayen. So here also it is not out of place to mention that illusion
can never attack on God and God is totally free from illusion.
BHUHU = “BHUHU ITI VAYEE PRANAHA” i.e., He who is the base of lives of universe,
is most beloved, even more than Prann i.e., breath. So Bhuhu is the name of God.
BHUVAHA= “BHUVAHA ITI APANAHA” i.e., He who is totally free from any sorrow,
and the soul removes his own all sorrows after coming in contact with Him. So the
name of God is Bhuvaha.
SWAHA = i.e., “SWAHA ITI VYANAHE” who is omnipresent in the universe and is
holding the same. So the name of God is Swaha.
SAVITUHU = He who creates the universe. So the name of God is Savituhu.
DEVSYA= who gives all pleasure/merriment, so the name of God is Dev.
VARENNYAM = He who is the most supreme and acceptable. God is most supreme
and acceptable for worship.
BHARGAHA = the purest entity (though God is formless, but finding no suitable
English word of Sanskrit word, “SHUDH SWARUPAM” the word entity has been used.)
TAT = i.e., the God i.e., of the purest entity.
DHIMAHI = i.e., we must hold (sort of meditation) because
YAHA = the God
NAHA = our,
DHIYAHA = mind(i.e., in our minds)
PRACHODYAT = by inspiration (fulfil the mind with wisdom)
“We meditate the God who is the base of lives’ of universe, totally free from any sorrow, omnipresent, creates the universe, gives all pleasure/merriment, most supreme and acceptable, purest entity; May the God enlighten our minds with wisdom by His inspiration”.
Here it is not out of place to mention that idea of a (one) Ved mantra is based on ideas of several Ved mantras. So in the above Gayatri mantra, there are three things —-
Bhuhu, Bhuvaha, Swaha, Savituhu, Bhargaha, Devsya are some qualities amongst unlimited qualities of God. These are called Stuti i.e., to say about God with His real qualities and not self made etc.
Secondly Dhimahi means meditation i.e., one should always sit in meditation and do hard and pious deeds for which he will have to study Vedas in full, while discharging moral duties towards family and nation.
Third and last is DHIYO YO NAHA PRACHODYAT. It is a prayer to God explanation of which is cited above.
HOW TO DO HAVAN
Please sit in the morning to perform havan. Havan must be in sunlight then it is more beneficial. Then half a bowl of fresh water with a tablespoon must be with you with small twigs especially of mango tree if possible, havan samagri, ghee, camphor and match box must be there with you. Please sit on sukh asan on four times folded blanket and blanket must be on mat.
Sukh asan i.e., sit on duly folded feet in comfortable position. Then first close your eyes and concentrate between two eyebrows and chant Gayatri mantra three times within heart and not by mouth. Then open your eyes.
Take one spoon of water in right palm. Chant this mantra, OM AMRITO UPASTRANMASI SWAHA and drink the water which you have put in your palm. Then again take the spoon of water in right palm then chant the next mantra, OM AMRITA APIDHANMASI SWAHA, and drink the water. Then again take the water in right palm and chant the mantra, OM SATYAM YASHAH SHRI MAYI SHRI SHRAYTAAM SWAHA, and drink the water. Then wash the right palm while sitting, with the same water kept in bowl.
Then put the twigs into havan kund with one piece of camphor and burn it. During this process chant the Gayatri mantra again and again till such time the fire is lighted sufficiently. Then chant the Gayatri mantra and at the last add the word Swaha and offer ghee with tablespoon, quantity equivalent to 4 to 5 drops. And if you are alone then also offer in fire pinch of havan samagri from your right hand’s finger and thumb avoiding forefinger. So this offering may be of 11 times, 21 times or 51 times as the time suits. It is the simplest way and I have not quoted the complete method of Yajna. The havan with Ved mantras are always offered as the best worship of God only please. Do havan daily and both times.
Procedure of Chanting
Please, start the day by chanting Gayatri mantra in the early morning sitting on suitable asan like Sukhasan, Siddhasan or Padmasan etc. concentrate on the point between two eyebrows which is called “Agyachakra”. The Gayatri mantra should be chanted along with its meaning both times. Also, please try to perform daily hawan even with Gayatri mantra. Then try to study any of my books daily and put up question if any. After 15 days chant the Gayatri mantra only thrice thereafter do the name jaap of Almighty God-“Om”. The jaap must be done daily by heart and not orally.