J: Aapke Charano mein mera Paranam, Swamiji. I am not a perfect person but I am not the worst either. I admit my mistakes and I try my best to do what others around me want to do. I have a daughter who will start college soon and I have a son who is younger. My son is a miracle baby. We did so many prayers to have him. I also live with both my in laws who are in mid 70s and 80s.
We all have been together for 20 years now. My mother in law and I have never argued or fought but the last couple of years has been rough. I have always treated her better than my mom whom I left when I got married and she does not live in the same country as me plus she is dead now. Just a month ago, my mother in law accused me that since my kids are older now, I will kick her out of this house. I have never said any such thing.
Plus I stay in my corner since I don’t want her to feel unwanted. I went to college after getting married and having my daughter. She also claimed that since she watched my daughter, I was able to get my degree. But she worked 6 days a week and my father in law watched her. Now my husband gets mad at my son when he does not get perfect scores at school. I don’t like my job and am having a hard time finding another job. My daughter is starting college and I am stressed what if she does not like college.
My world is literally falling apart. I have six sisters in laws who don’t like me and my children. There are days I feel like I am done with this world. My husband critics me toooo much and I feel like I can’t breathe. When will all my troubles end? When will I find some peace? When will I be happy? I want to die happy, not sad. There are things my children want to do but I can’t do those things with my inlaws because it creates more drama, like going on a week-long vacation. I am a firm believer of Shiv Ji but I lost him and he no longer answers my prayers. The water is above my nose now and I am tired and exhausted. I am done and very weak and do not have any energy for anything. Please guide me and tell me what am I doing wrong.
Swami Ram Swarup: Mera aapko ashirwad beti. It is an extra ordinary quality that you admit your mistakes. Again, you must try to destroy all your mistakes under the guidance of a learned Acharya of Vedas. Your treatment with your mother-in-law as if she is your own mother is further a good quality within you. I appreciate you, beti.
Vedas state that it does not matter that anybody like your six sister-in-laws do not like you or others. Preach is this that whether you still love others and do not hate them because it is fundamental laws which is ever unchangeable that those who hate others, God Himself punishes them and then abuses and curses etc., go back to the person to be faced by him.
Why does your husband criticize? Today only, I have preached devotees from Atharvaved that your tongue should always utter sweet voice in all cases. Secondly, your meeting and departure must also be sweet one/ pleasant one. No doubt, it is matter of spiritualism but dear daughter, when you have put your question here, then it is my right to make you understand about vedic culture. There is only one way to be happy and peaceful that one should immediately begin worshipping God according to vedas only. So, that you get vedic knowledge meanwhile I would advise you to do the followings.
Hard working, devotion, dedication, honesty, services to the parents and elders to follow eternal religion mentioned in Vedas, practice of Ashtang Yog, discharging moral duties to get progress in education, science simultaneously with spiritualism like, daily havan, to be in contact with the learned Acharya, to get his advice, are some of the pious deeds which make the future bright and obliterate the sorrows, problems, diseases, etc.
One must wake up early in the morning for early morning walk and exercises, must sit on meditation and chant holy name of God, must be away from any addiction and non-vegetarian. Such pious actions lead to long, happy life and bright future.
The Gayatri mantra is as follows —
OM BHURBHUVAHA SWAHA TATA SAVITUR VARENYAM BHARGODEVASYA
DHIMAHI DHIYO YO NAHA PRACHODYAT
Meaning of Gayatri mantra stating each word is as follows. Its meaning is based on Vedas and Sanskrit grammar. Grammatical hints are in short please.
Om has three Hindi words. Aa, Uu AND Ma. Aa is meant for Aakaar from which three
names of God are built, Viraat, Agni, and Vishwadi. From Uu = uukar from which
Hirannyagarbha, Vayu and Tejas names occur and Ma = makaar from which Ishwar,
Aditya and Praajyan aadi, holy names of God occur. Rigved mantra 1/164/46 says
God is one but His names are several. But here OM the holy name of God is only being explained.
VIRAAT = Viraat word is made from dhatu ‘Rajrideeptau’ i.e., manifest. Therefore Viraat means He who manifests the universe. As God manifests the universe, thus
Viraat is the name of God. Rigved mandal 10, sukta 129 states that like potter makes pot from clay, similarly God creates universe from non-alive matter prakriti.
Prakriti is unseen matter. From unseen matter, the whole universe is created in the visible form. Science also says that matter is never destroyed but changes its form.
Suppose a paper is burnt, paper changes its form into ashes. Then ashes are crushed and thrown in air. At this moment, the paper changed into ashes becomes invisible but was never destroyed. Similarly the whole universe at the time of final destruction is turned into prakriti i.e., into unseen form.
AGNI = From dhatu, “ANCHU GATI POOJANAYOHO” the word “AGNI is made. Its meaning is: He who is a form of wisdom. “SARVAJAYEN” i.e., Omniscient. That is, knows each and every atom of universe and even beyond universe. He who is to be
known, to be gained and is worshipful. So Agni is the name of God.
VISHWA = Vishwa word is made from dhatu, “VISHPRAVESHANE”. Its meaning is He
in whom the universe is entering or He who is entering the universe. So being
omnipresent, Vishwa is the name of God.
HIRANNYAGARBHA = i.e., ” JYOTIRVAYIHIRANYAM”. Its meaning is, who is the base
of all sun, etc., luminous lokas or He who is the living place of all luminous lokas.
VAYU = from dhatu, “VA GATIGANDHANYOHO”, vayu word is made. Its meaning is
He who holds, gives life and destroys and is the mightiest amongst all. So the name
of God is Vayu.
TEJ = from dhatu, “TIJA NISHANE”, the word Tej is made meaning He who is self
made and self-enlightened and gives light to sun, moon, stars etc. God does not take
light from anywhere but gives light to sun, moon, stars, etc. so the unbroken,
unobstructed/unproduced and eternal form of light is Almighty God and not sun,
moon etc. So the name of God is Tej.
ISHWAR = from dhatu, “ISH ASHWERIYE”, the word Ishwar is made. Its meaning is
whose knowledge is thoughtful and true and He who has unlimited wealth, fortune
and glory etc. Therefore the name of God is Ishwar. Here it is not out of place to
mention that soul (man/woman) has limited qualities and are dependent whereas
God is independent and has unlimited qualities that is why He is God.
ADITYA = from dhatu, “DO AVAKHANDANE”, Aditya word is made. Its meaning is the one who cannot be broken into pieces and thus cannot be destroyed. So God’s name
PRAJAYEN (PRAGYA) = from dhatu, “JYEN AVABODHANE”, Prajayen word is made meaning whose wisdom is totally without any misunderstanding and thus he who
knows every matter and behavior of whole universe without misunderstanding. So
God’s name is Prajayen. So here also it is not out of place to mention that illusion
can never attack on God and God is totally free from illusion.
BHUHU = “BHUHU ITI VAYEE PRANAHA” i.e., He who is the base of lives of universe,
is most beloved, even more than Prann i.e., breath. So Bhuhu is the name of God.
BHUVAHA= “BHUVAHA ITI APANAHA” i.e., He who is totally free from any sorrow,
and the soul removes his own all sorrows after coming in contact with Him. So the
name of God is Bhuvaha.
SWAHA = i.e., “SWAHA ITI VYANAHE” who is omnipresent in the universe and is
holding the same. So the name of God is Swaha.
SAVITUHU = He who creates the universe. So the name of God is Savituhu.
DEVSYA= who gives all pleasure/merriment, so the name of God is Dev.
VARENNYAM = He who is the most supreme and acceptable. God is most supreme
and acceptable for worship.
BHARGAHA = the purest entity (though God is formless, but finding no suitable
English word of Sanskrit word, “SHUDH SWARUPAM” the word entity has been used.)
TAT = i.e., the God i.e., of the purest entity.
DHIMAHI = i.e., we must hold (sort of meditation) because
YAHA = the God
NAHA = our,
DHIYAHA = mind(i.e., in our minds)
PRACHODYAT = by inspiration (fulfil the mind with wisdom)
“We meditate the God who is the base of lives’ of universe, totally free from any sorrow, omnipresent, creates the universe, gives all pleasure/merriment, most supreme and acceptable, purest entity; May the God enlighten our minds with wisdom by His inspiration”.
Here it is not out of place to mention that idea of a (one) Ved mantra is based on ideas of several Ved mantras. So in the above Gayatri mantra, there are three things —-
Bhuhu, Bhuvaha, Swaha, Savituhu, Bhargaha, Devsya are some qualities amongst unlimited qualities of God. These are called Stuti i.e., to say about God with His real qualities and not self made etc.
Secondly Dhimahi means meditation i.e., one should always sit in meditation and do hard and pious deeds for which he will have to study Vedas in full, while discharging moral duties towards family and nation.
Third and last is DHIYO YO NAHA PRACHODYAT. It is a prayer to God explanation of which is cited above.
HOW TO DO HAVAN
Please sit in the morning to perform havan. Havan must be in sunlight then it is more beneficial. Then half a bowl of fresh water with a tablespoon must be with you with small twigs especially of mango tree if possible, havan samagri, ghee, camphor and match box must be there with you. Please sit on sukh asan on four times folded blanket and blanket must be on mat.
Sukh asan i.e., sit on duly folded feet in comfortable position. Then first close your eyes and concentrate between two eyebrows and chant Gayatri mantra three times within heart and not by mouth. Then open your eyes.
Take one spoon of water in right palm. Chant this mantra, OM AMRITO UPASTRANMASI SWAHA and drink the water which you have put in your palm. Then again take the spoon of water in right palm then chant the next mantra, OM AMRITA APIDHANMASI SWAHA, and drink the water. Then again take the water in right palm and chant the mantra, OM SATYAM YASHAH SHRI MAYI SHRI SHRAYTAAM SWAHA, and drink the water. Then wash the right palm while sitting, with the same water kept in bowl.
Then put the twigs into havan kund with one piece of camphor and burn it. During this process chant the Gayatri mantra again and again till such time the fire is lighted sufficiently. Then chant the Gayatri mantra and at the last add the word Swaha and offer ghee with tablespoon, quantity equivalent to 4 to 5 drops. And if you are alone then also offer in fire pinch of havan samagri from your right hand’s finger and thumb avoiding forefinger. So this offering may be of 11 times, 21 times or 51 times as the time suits. It is the simplest way and I have not quoted the complete method of Yajna. The havan with Ved mantras are always offered as the best worship of God only please. Do havan daily and both times.
In the end of hawan, please pray to God to fulfill your desires. I hope God will sure listen to you.
PROCEDURE OF CHANTING
Please, start the day by chanting Gayatri mantra in the early morning sitting on suitable asan like Sukhasan, Siddhasan or Padmasan etc. concentrate on the point between two eyebrows which is called “Agyachakra”. The Gayatri mantra should be chanted along with its meaning both times. Also, please try to perform daily hawan even with Gayatri mantra. Then try to study any of my books daily and put up question if any.
After 15 days chant the Gayatri mantra only thrice thereafter do the name jaap of Almighty God-“Om”. The jaap must be done daily by heart and not orally.
While discharging all your family duties. In case of fulfillment of your, children demand, it is your duty to tell all things in loving manner to your husband. My dear daughter , in vedas, there is only one way that formless, omnipresent God Who creates, nurses and destroys the universe, is to be worshipped otherwise God punishes. Sri Ram, Sri Krishna, other Raj rishis and Rishi-munis did worship of the said God. If you are not satisfied about the vedic preach, you may go ahead, as you want. Otherwise, God does not promote idol worship. Relax my daughter, start worship as advised and soon you will get peace of mind.