S: Pranam Guruji All the time I am too much conscious about any sin that I may do or even think. I have to study but over a large period I am concerned about that if i am doing something wrong. Even while doing havan or meditation I am more concerned about any wrong I may do like may sit in wrong way, put ghee in wrong way even thoug I do as you have guided us to do. In my class rather than focusing on studies my attention is more to remain away from girls as even talking to them may lead to sin. Guru ji vedas tell that GOD is omnipresent and knows all and better than us. So would he be knowing that I as a soul intent to do no wrong or ill even if some stupid thought come to mind I ignore it hoping that Ineed not worry as I God knows better. As the meaning if word OM itself says so.
while studing in past I used to be totally focused on my studies but niw these petty things have occupied my mind making me afraid all the time and worried about even normal humanly things… my confidense is low and alot of self doubts have engulfed me. I am not happily able to eat food at times because of fear that it may be stale and would lead to sin. At times I am not able to learn because of the self doubt that if I donnt write I will not be able to learn and end up learning much less as I could have sometimes because of flow of studies Iwant to continue late night study but with the fear that waking little latein morning woukd be a sin I have sleep early. In past I used to be cobfident that I am better than my classmates in studies because Iworked hard and I also helped them if needed but niw I have fear that having such competitive confidence is ego or some sin I ended up treating such feeling a sin and when ever I work hard and gain some confidence that I can do or achieve my goal I again has to curb that feeling and again loss my confidence.
Guruji From a topper today I am even finding it difficult to survive in the world around. Guruji I dont understand that vedas that are the source of inspiration and focus are leading to my derailment.
please tell me what wrong I am doing and why is it hapenning to me, is it previous bad deeds that make me think this way. Is there any hope for me. My parents have great expectation from me and I can today see in their eyes even they are concerned to my decreasing capacities.
Guruji in past I used to work with freedom and thus with pleasure and I did good things only. But today it is the fear that is rather forcing me to do right things that in past I did on will. I know one should be aware of sin and pious act in my case it has become the fear of God rather than love for God.
Guruji I take every sord if yours as a gospel truth, so Guruji what shoukd I do of these never ending confusions and doubts. Its not a medical but a spritiual problem that only you can help in.
In 20 days I have an important exam and my prepration are too low.
Please Guruji find some time to help your disciple
aapke charnoon main mera pranam.
Swami Ramswarup: My blessings to you. You should always do your level best not to commit any sin thinking that God will sure give punishment thereof. Yes, God knows every action of not only human beings but every living beings, being omnipresent. (Rigved mantra 1/164/20 clarify the said divine quality of Omnipresent God very well).
But here I would advise you that take firm decision not to commit any sin But on the other hand concentrate your mind to do hard study. I also paste one of my answers below :-
The moral duties of student are several but main duties are as follows:-
1. To maintain brahmacharya.
2. To do light exercise daily in the morning.
3. Full concentration, devotion and dedication towards hard study.
4. To serve and obey the parents and elders.
Then equally devotion, concentration and dedication towards spiritualism where he must listen Vedas, do daily hawan from ved mantras, name-jaap of God daily under guidance of a learned Acharya. In this matter he may give forty-five minutes in the morning and thirty-five minutes in the evening then whole of the day and night is left for him to do hard study. If the student is failed to obey above quoted preaches then his life may be ruined.
Now you should make up your mind to follow the above Vedic path and you should forcefully mold your mind not to waste the time either and thither. In this regard I paste my one of answers:
Vidyarthi ke liye updesh
Maine pehle bhi bataya beti ki jis student ka dil bilkul bhi padhai mein nahin lagta woh uske ya to pichhle janam ke paap karma ka phal hai ya is janam mein woh aalsi hai. Aalsa karan bhi ek paap hai. Waise to yeh vedon mein kahi brahma gyan ki baatein hain iitni jaldi yahan kaise samjhaaun. Par thoda samjhane ki koshish karo yeh shareer, indriyan aur mann, buddhi prakriti ke rajo, tamo aur satogunn se bani hain isliye yadi kisi manushya ki kathor vedic sadhna nahin hai to rajogunn- vishya vikaar, tamo gunn- aalasya, nidra aur satogunn- ahankar failate hain. Pratyek pranni ke mann mein yeh vikaar hote hain. Wahi vikaar aapke mann mein bhi hain ya kisi bhi vidyarthi ke vikara se prabhavit mann padhai mein nahin lagta, vishya vikaar, ya aalas mein lag jaata hai.
Ab yadi aapko samajh mein aaye to yeh samjhna hai ki aap aur main ya duniya ka koi bhi human being na shareer hai, na indriyan hain aur na mann- buddhi hai. Hum ek chetan avinaashi jeevatmayein hain aur manushya ke shareer mein rehti hain. Hum jeevatmaon ko ishwar ne yeh shareer, indriyaan aur mann buddhi isliye diye hain ki hum inpar command karke mann-buddhi aur indriyon se kewal shubh karma,kathor mehnat , (hard working) itiyaadi karein. Inko jeevatma agya de aur woh kaam karein. Lekin aam insaan (jeevatma) ko yeh vedic gyan na hone ke karann ulta rajo, tamo, sato gunn se bane mann or bhuddi ka gulam banana padta hai. To mann kehta hai Vishay vikar karo to karne lagta hai, kyunki hum mann. Budhi par command na karke aur vedic gyan na hone ke karann avidyagrast hokar aalas, nidra , Vishay vikaar ko jo paap ki nishahni hai usey punnya maankar, theek maankar chusti nahin karte,mehnat nahin karte isliye achchhe karma nahi karte, burai ko burai nahin samajhtey or jeevan ko barbaad kar lete hain. Aap hi batao aapka mann padhai mein nahi lagta to kya aap usi waqt mann ke gulaam nahi ho jaatey or phir padhai band kar dete ho ya phir kisi soch mein pad jaate ho aur aasani se keh dete ho ki aaj mera padhne ka mood nahi hai, mann nahin hai yeh kitna bada paap hai, Jab kisi ko gyan ho jaata hai ya pichley janam ka punnya saath hota hai to is rahasya ko jaanne ke liye woh vidyarthi- manushaya , nari (i.e., jeevatma) fauran mann ko order karti hai ki mian tere jaal mein nahin phansungi main tera commander hoon. Mujhe Ishwar ne tere upar command karme ke liye bheja hai. Isliye as a commander main (jeevatma) tujhe hukam deti hoon ki yeh aalas,nidra aadi chhodkar padhai mein lag ja or iss prakaar mann haar jaata hai aur usey apne commander kee baat maannee padti hai aur aisa vidyarthi padhai karke apne jeevan ka sudhaar kar leta hai. Anyatha maa-baap, rishteydaaron, doston aadi ke samjhane par bhi vidyarthi (jeevatma) mann ka gulaam banker padhai ya shubh karma nahi karta woh kisi kee nahi sunta. Isliye vidyarthi apne chetan swarup jeevatma ko samjhe or mann, buddhi, indriyon or shareer rachna ko samjhe, Ishwar ka naam jaap karey, phir kabhi bhi koi haani nahi hogi. Hamara yeh vichaar paap wala vichaar ho jayega ki Ishwar chahta hai ki hum padhein ya shubh karma na karein. Hum aise gande vichaar tabhi rakh saktein hain jab hum ved vidya nahi suntey aur phalswarup Ishwar ke divya karma, gyan or shakti tatha uske swarup ko nahi jaante. Yahaan yeh samjho ki ishwar hamara parampita hai. Usne yeh sansaar aur uske yeh padarth jisme vayu, anna, dhan, parivaar aadi sainkadon padarth hamare sukh ke liye banayein hain aur sabse badi daya Parmeshwar ne manushya jaatee par yeh kari hai ki usne hamein Charon vedon ka gyan diya, jispar chalkar hum apne sabhi paap karmon ko nasht karke iss jeevan aur aaney wale jeevan ko sukhi banaakar arth, dharma, kaam aur moksha ke sukh ko prapt karein. Ab yahaan yeh kehna padta hai ki kisi ne badaa sundar kaha-
“Jisko nahi hai bodh toh Guru gyan kya karey”
Burai mein fanskar jisko gyan prapt karney kee ichha hee nahin hai toh usey Brahmagyani acharya bhi shiksha de toh woh shiksha grehan nahi karega. Isliye gyan lene kee swayam ichha honee chahiye aur mann mein uthe paap karmon aur buraiyon ko maar dena chahiye kyunki kaha bhi hai-
“Mann jeetey jag jeet”
Isliye Geeta shloka 6/5 mein kaha ki Aatma ke dwara aatma apna udhdhaar karey arthat manushya swayam hee aalas tyagkar purusharth aur utsaah, sadhna evam shubh karmon ko kartey hue swayam apna udhdhaar karey kyunki swayam aatma hee aatma ka bandhu hai aur aatma hee aatma ka shatru hai. Arthat Vidyarthi ho ya manushya ho jab tak kisi ved ke gyata se prerna lekar swayam purusharth nahi karta, jeevan mein apna acchha target banaakar (padhai-likhai, dhan kamaney, mata-pita kee sewa karney, shubh karma karne ityaadi) usey prapt karne ke liye kadee mehnat nahi karta toh uska patan nishchit hai, woh apne iss jeevan ko nasht kar leta hai. Ishwar toh hamara parampita hai isliye toh hamein aagey badhne ke liye vedon mein bahut gyan diya hai, achchhee-achchhe shikshayein dee hain. Yadi hum swayam purusharth karke vidwanon se ved na suney, unse prashann karke apnee bhrantee ka samadhaan na karein aur iss prakaar apne kashton ka naash na kare toh issme Ishwar ko dosh lagana mahapaap hai. Isliye Kathopnishad ke Rishi ne kaha- ‘ Uttishthata jagrat prapya’ arthat Rajo gunn ityadi se utpann vikaron se jaago or swayam apne lakshaya ko prapt karo.
Jab aap exam mein topper rahe tub aap par rajo or tamo gunn ka prabhaav nahi tha isliye aap mehnat kartey the ab pooree tarah se aap rajo, tamo aur sato gunn ke prabhaav mein ho, aap ko swayam upar kahe updesh par chalkar in teenon gunnon ke prabhav ko hatana hoga.
Yeh vichaar ved ke virudh hai, Ishwar ke khilaaf hai ki jo karta hai woh Ishwar karta hai. Vaastav mein iska arth yeh hai, jaisa Yajurved mantra 7/48 mein kaha ki Jeevatma achhey-burey karma karta hai Ishwar uska kramshah paap-punya ke roop mein phal deta hai. Aur puny ka phal sukh aur paap ka phal dukh bhogna hota hai. Isliye Ishwar sab kuch nahi karta. Woh hamare karmon ka phal deta hai. Baakee Ishwar ke anant divya kaam hain jaise janam-mrityu, srishti rachna, rituon kee adla-badlee, aakash mein surya, chandrama, prithvi ityadi ko ghumanaa aur unhe sambhalkar rakhna ityadi-ityadi. Yadi Ishwar humse apnee marji ke acche-burey karma karaey toh dosh Ishwar par jayega, hum par nahi aur aisa kabhi hota hee nahi hai.
It is sign of disturbances of your mind that you are not feeling happiness while taking food. So try to concentrate your mind towards study and pious deeds. If you are failed then it will be your own fault to destroy your life.